Hello, hello!
Did you know that two days after Valentine’s Day (supposedly the day of lovers and of Friendship — which is love too), that is, today, a day is celebrated to remember the stories that never were? Let’s clarify: the ones that didn’t happen, didn’t fully materialize, or didn’t work out as expected.
These may be feelings that were never reciprocated, relationships challenged by distance, hidden loves, or stories put on hold due to circumstances beyond the control of those who lived them. What they share is that impossibility of giving shape and continuity to a shared project.
Rather than inviting melancholy, this date opens a space for reflection. The focus shifts to what was learned on an emotional level. Remembering does not mean staying stuck in what once was, but understanding how those experiences shaped one’s life journey. The proposal is to integrate what was lived as part of the personal growth process.
In this context, resilience takes on special meaning. Relationships that don’t flourish often leave deep marks, sometimes painful ones. However, they can also transform into opportunities for evolution. The Day of Impossible Loves highlights precisely that ability to reframe the experience and turn it into momentum to move forward.
Who hasn’t thought about that person or that relationship that marked a chapter of our lives, but ultimately helped us grow, reflect on ourselves, mature, and learn from what happens to us? Probably all of us — because at some point (if we’ve truly lived and allowed ourselves to feel), a relationship we’ve had has left its mark and left us feeling just a little shaken.
When talking about relationships, I’m not referring only to romantic partnerships — to the romantic, spiritual, almost divine idea that history has often sold us: that one person who arrives in your life and completely changes it. Without that person you were no one, and thanks to that person — “THE person” — you become whole. Honestly, excuse the expression, but that’s bullshit.
Let’s open a small can of worms for a moment. You don’t need (not you, not me, not anyone) another person to feel or be complete. Each person is whole in themselves, with their strengths and their not-so-great parts. Eventually, we meet someone who complements us. Or better said, who adapts — or rather, fits, clicks — (in reality, we adapt mutually) to our way of living and seeing life.
And we’re also talking about friendships — people who come into your life at a certain moment and make it brighter, help you grow, become a better person, feel more connected to yourself… In short, people and relationships that marked us at a specific time and that, for one reason or another, came to an end. Those stories matter too. They are part of our lives, they have shaped our personality, and they will continue to shape us. They are part of who we are.
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
This day does not aim to replace other celebrations or compete with them. Its purpose is to give legitimacy to experiences that, for a long time, remained in the private sphere.
Every February 16th, the conversation reemerges about those stories that marked different stages of our lives. The date invites us to look back without idealizing, to recognize the value of what we learned, and to accept that not all emotions find a shared ending.
So take a moment (this is self-care too) and reflect on your relationships and how they have shaped you. Sometimes, it’s necessary to pause and reflect in order to see what — and how — to let certain things go.
You are not alone. I’m sending you a big hug.
